Dealing with dating a widower
This came out of the blue from my seven-year-old daughter Isabella – but then, little about our recent family life had been expected.My children lost their mother, Carolina, to breast cancer in June 2013. When she was terminally ill, we left our house, jobs and schools and moved back to the UK from abroad.The heart of our family had been ripped away from us, and as much as counselling helped me come to terms with the reality, the gaping hole remained.After a while, though, I realised that eventually I would have to try to fill the gaping hole and I began to think about another aspect of my situation – being single again after 14 years of marriage. One day, my daughter asked me if I was going to get a girlfriend. After a pause, she asked with a hint of excitement: "Will we get a baby brother or sister?I personally have never dated a man whose wife died, but I know plenty of women who have. Widowers feel guilty that they are still able to enjoy happiness, while the person they lost can’t.
They might think, ‘Does being happy make people think I didn’t love my spouse?No one else can tell you what you are feeling, so only by being in touch with your own emotions can you know if you’re ready.Everyone mourns differently, so widows/widowers must be careful not to let other people dictate the speed of their recovery.”“Too many variables to say what is right for anyone the old year thing is probably wise as a minimum. I didn’t quite make the 1 year wait to date thing…and I made a mess, I think I will use 5 years to remarry as a minimum.“This is variable, and having been married to a widower, been widowed and later marrying another widower as well as encountering several men on the widow/widower board, I have noticed that men seem to be ready earlier than women.Community Q&A It is no different than dating anyone else with a few exceptions.Each person is unique and the love they had for their late-love should always be a part of them.