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When I started dating, post-marriage, I have to admit it was both exciting and terrifying.

The dance of flirtation, getting to know someone, the anticipation of a kiss, the wondering about sex–it’s heady. what woman can orgasm when she’s being that passive?

Though, nothing like the challenge of seeing a “stranger” naked after a couple of decades of old married life that’s lost its fizzle. But we did eventually strip down under soft lights and soft jazz music; the most clichéd kind of sex–on a sheepskin rug in front of a fake/roaring fire. I think my experience is one that some of my female readers will relate to and I’m sure male readers have a somewhat similar version of this. I didn’t talk about what I liked or didn’t like, what I wanted. There are plenty of books and dating sites full of on how to successfully date. What was missing was information for women on how to ask for, and receive, the kind of sexual touch and connection they desired.

I found myself ill-equipped to create the lovely, graceful and orgasmic sex scenes depicted in movies and novels. For starters I felt awkward about my body and about the whole sex thing so I rarely had the kind of pleasure one expects when having sex. When sex did present itself I often acted from cultural conditioning rather than following my body or heart. Sex education for women isn’t really about technique–though if you want to give better blowjobs there is plenty of information out there for that. I needed to hear that I could voice my desires and choose to pursue pleasure for myself.

As in the play "Thoroughly Modern Millie", millions of young women left the safety and security of rural, small-town life and went to live an independent life in the big city.If you cannot see the entire article, we would appreciate if you would deactivate your ad blocker and refresh the page before continuing to browse. Below are 20 wise marriage tips from a man that was recently divorced. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it.You wouldn't normally think that a divorced man would give good advice on being a husband, but this man has been through enough hardship to know what is worth fighting for: MARRIAGE ADVICE I WISH I WOULD HAVE HAD: Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance.Having sex in the context of a longterm marriage was no guarantee that I could smoothly transition to the brave new world of singles and sex and spaghetti dinners. I learned to fake the enthusiastic kind of murmurings that get men aroused (a nod of heads here? Not having conversations prior to sex about desires and expectations.On my first official date we went to dinner and a movie–I ordered a pasta dish. Getting a complete strand gracefully in your mouth is a challenge. Realizing half way through the process that the man lying on top of her is pursuing his own pleasure without realizing or caring that sex is a party of two.

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She has some real concerns about how the relationship is going and wanted to hear from my perspective the true dynamics of what she's experiencing.

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